Sunday, March 16, 2003

Viva la France!!! 

Wow, last night Rosebud and I watched the movie Amelie, starring the gorgeous and whimsical French actress Audrey Tautou. Could she be the next, international Audrey you-know-who? Rosebud and I were so kind to each other yesterday as he is looking for work and a place to live, and I had a horrible fight with my father yesterday because I cursed the TV. I was watching a media drone, Vera Gibbons from the magazine Smart Money (which apparently is a contradiction in terms), speak on MSNBC. She said it is okay right now to have deficits. She was defending the war. "I mean," she said, "a lot of economists are saying it will be more costly to the American people if we don't have this war," or some such nonesense.

She and the MSNBC media drone were discussing a proposal being floated around to raise taxes on alcohol, tobacco, and something esle but I can't remember, to pay for the war. Discussing it later with Rosebud, he and I thought wow if that passes, and people can't afford to get drunk anymore, in order to numb themselves from the pain of Bush 2's reign, and if they can't afford to smoke their brains out in order to calm their nerves, then there might really be a revolution.

I called Ms. Gibbons a "bitch" when she said economists are now saying it is okay to have a deficit. I couldn't help myself. The word kind of spewed out of me like vomit when you are really sick. My father has his head partially buried in the sand, but he is a good man. "Our country is going down the drain and you are worried about me cursing the TV", I said, or something like that. "At least I'm not wasting time writing about WW2", and I immediately regretted saying that, because I really do think his website is worthwhile. Have we ever been closer to fascism in our nation's history? I think not. Anyway, I think my dad thinks I'm a little wacko right now because our computer is acting funny and I have a suspicion that Total Information Awareness may be watching us, and many other Americans. (Just in case they are watching, I want to say Hi fellas, hope you're having a good time spying on freedom loving Americans).

I didn't want to tell Rosebud that my computer is acting funny, like some files have been corrupted just like the Dell guy said over the phone, because Rosebud is really sensitive to that sort of suggestion. So far I have had two dreams about being spied on by the government, but I only told Rosebud about the first one, not the most recent one in which my father was in denial, and my mother was saying, "This is not the time to back down, we have to keep fighting them".

My mother is not into computers at all. She loves to garden and wouldn't hurt a flea, though she might kill a roach. We have big roaches in New Orleans. One time, while she was gardening, a hummingbird landed in her hand. She would rather pay more attention to the Virgin Mary and gardening and her grandchildren, then politics, but she is pretty angry these days over the mess Bush 2 is making.

Rosebud has been pretty anxious lately because of the world situation, and his need to find work and a place to live that he can afford. He is struggling with beliefs right now that the world is an unfriendly, harsh place and won't help him to realize his dreams
I've been talking to him about how we create our own reality, through our beliefs, and that it is possible to attract a nurturing work environment and living environment. Of course, I am telling myself the same thing as I tell him. We discussed that the pro-war people have a different set of beliefs, and we have to be gentle with them and try to help them move back towards rationality and common sense, as best we can, even though we might get insulted in the process. I told him I had made some anti-war comments on a pro-war blog site, and they visciously attacked me. That's when I had the second dream that the government is spying on me, and in the dream I had to fly to get away from a woman in an SUV trying to get her hooks in me.

Then we watched Amelie, which is a kind of fairytale, and seems to say that through kindness and the belief in the inherent goodness of the universe, we can help each other to realize our dreams. So I want to say thank you to the French people for making this film. The film is a beautiful moment and comes as close to cinematic perfection as I have ever seen.